just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
