She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
