I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
