I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize