bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
