Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
