one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
