You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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