You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
