Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
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If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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