If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
soo... how was my night?
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