Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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