i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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