She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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