He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
