You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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