hotel room ftw
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
