burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
