fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize