that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
