I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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