I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize