im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
