I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
