Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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