New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
