You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
