i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
