What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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