he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
