You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
