i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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