I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
