And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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