I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
