he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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