Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
