so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
