I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
