your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
