marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
