How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
