so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
