How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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