i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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