What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
bring money and cleavage
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
