You smell like stripper and shame
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
NoShamevember. You game?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
