We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
