I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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