I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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