i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
