I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He kissed a someone with a penis
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Are we still banned from the library?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
