are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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