I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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