he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
