i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
