Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
