shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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