And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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