So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
