wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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