how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
