My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The uberlube is also flammable
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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