How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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